Why Do You Carry Me

Suffering and unaware
Wanting to be alone

In my pit of despair
I find that someone cares

Wondering why the rescue
Why the pouring of grace

But standing awestruck
I find my self to dissipate

Oh why oh why Lord do
You love me
Why do you carry me
Through the storm

I find it hard to understand
The grace gave to this man

Blessed but feeling cursed
My life couldn't get worse

Stepping out onto the sea
Hoping to follow Gods lead

Ready to move when
I should stay stiill

Oh why oh why Lord do
You love me
Why do you carry me
Through the storm

I find it hard to understand
The grace gave to this man

Supposed

I'm supposed to be this
I'm supposed to be that
Without you I am
Nothing
Ashamed
Alone
Dirty
And used

When I'm supposed to be strong
I fall all apart
I'm supposed to be this
I'm supposed to be that
Without you I am
Lost
Weary
Blind
Hurt
And full of pain

Save me oh Lord
Save me oh Lord
Oh Save this broken soul

Full of pain
Full of shame
Without you Lord
I have all the blame

You took it all
All upon you
Because you loved me
Not that I loved you

Thank you
Thank you
Thank you

For loving me
In a world
That cannot
Truly see
What I'm supposed to be
Help me see what
I am supposed to be

God forgive me for only praising you when the rain stops.

Make Me Whole

The beginning of the day is breaking
Inside my heart there is no mistaking

He is for us, his love is through us

Along this path there is another way
Instead of this life of ruin and decay

His love is stronger, in him is power

Oh Lord take my soul
Lead me across
This valley
I built myself
Take my soul
and
Make it whole

Returning broken goods to the sender
Getting a holy healing from my mender

He fixes us, his love repairs us

I cannot keep all this hid anymore

Upon My Own Strength

I will not sink with this ship
current won't take me down
Never been my battle to win
Only my very own to loose

Upon my own strength
I am unable
To stay here
Upon my own strength
I am unable
To survive
Upon your strength
I am alive
I am alive

I once refused to fall all apart
Pretending to have a control
Sadly inward happy outward
Starting to sink and letting go

Never been my battle to win
Only my very own to loose

Upon my own strength
I am unable
To stay here
Upon my own strength
I am unable
To survive
Upon your strength
I am alive
I am alive

Never been my battle to win
Only my very own to loose

I am alive
I am alive
Upon your strength
I am alive

When I Wake Up

When I wake up will I be in California
Opening my eyes to a new life or
Will I wake up from this dream and
Remain empty handed instead

Life can be a challenge
Drifting at times away at sea
The storms are a brewing
I know I cannot save me

When I wake up will I be in California
Opening my eyes to a new life or
Will I wake up from this dream and
Remain empty handed instead

My how times are tough
Falling down to my knees
The emptiness is a brewing
I know I cannot fix me

When I wake up will I be in California
Opening my eyes to a new life or
Will I wake up from this dream and
Remain empty handed instead

Watchmen

O Jerusalem, I have posted watchmen on your walls; they will pray day and night, continually.Take no rest, all you who pray to the Lord. (Isaiah 62:6 NLT)

Our Prayers

Our prayers for others are like seeds.....one day we will see a beautiful garden because of them.

Looked Closer

Learned today. That when you look closer you will start to share others burdens. I always thought I was looking closer until something come full circle to me. Then I realized that what I was looking at was a lesson from God himself.

All Because

This is not forever
This is just today
All because of
The stone was
Rolled away.

3 Couplets

I must go where he leads
Following and never retreat

Trembling, trying to breathe
Searching for a true relief

Hoping to reach stable land
Instead of this broken sand

Satisfied

I want to be in God's will
Because that is where
I'll only be satisfied

Hope is Coming Down

Life seems bleak and cold
Like a long dark winters day
Searching but nothing to hold

But I feel hope reaching down
Reaching down for me, for me
Hope is coming, hope is coming
Hope is coming down tomorrow

You Took It All Away

So tired and weary
Feeling all alone

Lost in denial
Trying to escape

Forgetting answers
Misery and pain

You took it all away
You took it all away

Struggle within me
Wanting to survive

Lost in the fog
Hope fading away

Can not escape
Can not escape

You took it all away
You took it all away

Internal Battle

When you can feel the internal battle waging, remember that the Spirit of God will win. The Spirit and the flesh are at a battle constantly. God gives us the strength we need and when we are tired of fighting he carries us through the battle.

Blessed

I am refreshed
and so blessed
I am no longer
depressed
All because of
you, all because
of you my Lord

Am I?

Am I just a caricature of what God has intended me to be? Have a squandered his gifts, blessings, and love he has given? Have I misused his grace in way to allow myself to become a person who waits to serve him and do his will for tomorrow? Knowing good and well that nothing ever happens on someday.

"...our actions should be geared to heal people, not hurt them. We are not islands, complete in ourselves, but oceans washing many shores." - unknown

The Void

"and perhaps that is because nothing about us except our neediness is, in this life, permanent." - c.s. lewis

We are needy. There is a hole in each of us. Some try to fill that hole with money, drugs, sex, power, or many other things or a combination of things. Still that void is still there. We long for something more. Some never fill that void and that is the saddest possible thing that could happen to anybody. We have a duty to find people with that void and help them find Jesus, the true void filler. With him there is a peace and sense of contentment that nothing of this world could ever accomplish.

Look Closer

The people around us everyday sometimes seem to just fade into the background. They are part of the blur that we call life. We are all so busy that we don't take time to really truly get to know each other. You can be around people for years and truly never know them. These people are all around us, our co-workers, fellow church goers, friends, and ever our spouse. We have a tendency to hide our true selfs, we hide behind a wall of fakeness that don't reveal the true beauty of our human nature, the real true us. We keep our feelings and emotions not only in check but locked in a safe for nobody to see and sometimes ourselves, we hide us for us. God wants us to be real with each other. That is way God says in the book of James "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (James 5:16 KJV)". We should
talk things out with our friends, spouse, or fellow church goers. When somebody comes to you to "confess a fault" or maybe just talk about a need , you should 1. keep it confident, don't break the trust. That is one of worst things you can do, break trust. You could hurt that person from ever being open again, making them closed off from others and possibly God for years or even decades. Point 2 is this. When they come to you with a concern don't try to fix them or give them what you think. Pray for the need go into your prayer closet or where ever you may pray at. Pray for that person, their needs, desires. Remember Gods word says to "pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Our pray for our friends, co-workers, spouse, and the people we encounter everyday will be more effective than any wordly advice we can give.

In light of all this we need to look closer at our fellow man. Some ate broken on the inside and all smiles on the outside. We never know what people have going on in their life's. Today everyone is so busy that we miss the chance to look closer. Anybody could be suffering with depression or dealing with things that they need someone to talk to. Some just hide it better than others. These people are all around us. I am sure that somebody reading this may be going through some stuff. It's ok, we all hit these times in our life, but God will carry us through it. Pray to him and ask him for somebody to help you. He will send you somebody.

Remember to look closer at those around you and pray for each other. When somebody is pouring something out big or small to you, listen, they are reaching out to you. Form more bonds, friendships, be like Daniel and Jonathan - "And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. (1 Samuel 18:1 KJV)." All the running to and fro will never hold and value next to that of a bonded true friendship. Take time for each other. Be real, talk about things, you never know when our words can help somebody else. Pray for one another. Fall in love, live and enjoy life.

Do I?

Do I, do I, do I, want to impress you
Do I, do I, do I, want to impress you
Or do I just want to rob your glory

All the things I do in your name
All those times I publicly praised
Did do it for you or was it in vain

Do I, do I, do I, want to worship you
Do I, do I, do I, want to worship you
Or do I just want to rob your glory

Was I seeking your will or my heart
Was I selfishly using your name
In order to fulfill my worldly gain

Has my soul really truly changed
Or have I stayed my bitter self
Letting the world keep me the same

Oh Lord tell me, oh Lord tell me

Have I, have I, have I worshiped you
Have I, have I, have I worshiped you
Or have I just robbed you of your glory

Forgive me Lord, forgive me Lord
Forgive me Lord, forgive me Lord

I will, I will, I will truly worship you

I Can See

As I stand in awe and amaze
Lift my hands in humble praise
Unworthy of your love for me
Healed, unblinded, I can see

Praise him, glory, I can see
Because of his love for me
Praise him, glory, I can see
Because of his love for me
I'm healed, unbounded, free

As I kneel in humble praise
All my heart I start to raise
Unworthy of your love for me
Healed, unblinded, I can see

Praise him, glory, I can see
Because of his love for me
Praise him, glory, I can see
Because of his love for me
I'm healed, unbounded, free

Healed

Never found anything of this world
That could heal this sadness I feel
But in Christ my sorrows are healed

Psalm 34:18

In Need

The rain is pouring down
I will not give up on hope
It's getting harder to see
In need, Jesus carry me

Void In Me

Now that I can feel your holy presence
I am starting to feel almost complete
Little by little the myself I start to loose
Filling this void and hole in me with you

All These Years

I've planned and built all these years
Finding nothing but sadness and tears
Realize that my yearning was for home
In this life I learned who paid my loan

Hebrews 13:14

Carried Me Again

God has answered my prayer.
He rescued me from despair.
All that I have fallen in.
He carried me through again.

Lost and a Friend

At times I seem so lost in my sin
But I know humbly in my heart
That the name above all names
Looks down and calls me friend

The Road

The long winding road I travel
As my life begins to unravel
Your word shows me what is true
I hear you, I reach out to you

Wanting More

Everyday I am living wanting more
Searching for what I am called for
Seeking out the abundance of life
But it all seems beyond my height

My Soulful Prayer

Another long day down
Another moment gone
Another memory made
All I know to do is pray
Lifting up all my despair
In my one soulful prayer

Pretend

Once again in my life I pretend
To have all of this under control
but I don't know where to begin
I don't know how life will unfold

Psalm 34:4